Prepare Jokes

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

How do you prepare corn like Sean Connery?

Shuck it long, and shuck it hard.

What does IRE-1 say to XBP1 mRNA?

Prepare to get RIDD of your intron.

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

What's the difference between an astronaut and a NASA intern?

One's constantly preparing for lunch.

How does NASA prepare for an organized event?

They planet!

How would u like that prepared?

ME: um medium well W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done

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How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

How does Snoop Dogg prepare for Christmas?

He raps his presents

How does it feel?

Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow "What"

How do you prepare for a party in space?

You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist

How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?

Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

How does Moses prepare his coffee?

Hebrews it.

How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade?

Drill drill drill.

Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

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How does a white girl prepare for the world?

Basic training.

How would you describe yourself?

Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance.

Why people cry during the weddings?

They are preparing for whats coming afterwards

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What's the difference between US Politics and WWE?

One is a predetermined charade that takes a tremendous amount of willingness to suspend disbelief the other is pro wrestling.

What do you call a WWE referee who is also a Jedi Master?

Mikey Yoda.

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What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend?

I just need some bread

When you ask her "Have you ever read Shakespeare?

And she answers "No, who wrote it ".... Keep moving.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why don't smart girls ever get pregnant?

Because they use their head.

What kind of money do they use on Superman's home planet?

Kryptocurrency

Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

Why didn't the USSR get anything done?

They were Stalin

Why Russians never drive stick shift?

They really hate Stalin

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What did God say after she made Eve?

Practice makes perfect.

Phelp Jokes More Phelp Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to make pants last?

Make the jacket first.

What's the best way to lose some pounds?

Leave the EU.

Smoker Jokes More Smoker Jokes

What's the biggest advantage of being a smoker?

Not having to set aside money for your old age.

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...