Prepare Jokes

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

What does IRE-1 say to XBP1 mRNA?

Prepare to get RIDD of your intron.

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

What's the difference between an astronaut and a NASA intern?

One's constantly preparing for lunch.

How does NASA prepare for an organized event?

They planet!

How would u like that prepared?

ME: um medium well W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

How does Snoop Dogg prepare for Christmas?

He raps his presents

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How do you prepare for a party in space?

You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist

How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?

Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

How does Moses prepare his coffee?

Hebrews it.

How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade?

Drill drill drill.

Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

How does a white girl prepare for the world?

Basic training.

How would you describe yourself?

Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance.

Why people cry during the weddings?

They are preparing for whats coming afterwards

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Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

Why couldn't the American leave Russia?

He was snowden

Michael Phelps Jokes More Michael Phelps Jokes

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

How do zombies communicate in times of war?

Cryptic code.

How do you turn a computer into a zombie?

Send it a byte. Kind of lame but I couldn't help myself.

Response Jokes More Response Jokes

Where have you learned aiming?

Response: In programming course.

What did the sophisticated cow say in response to another cow's joke?

That was very amoosing

Triple H Jokes More Triple H Jokes

What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match?

Preparation H

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics?

Gopher gold.

Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics?

Because he was Snow'den.

Preparation H Jokes More Preparation H Jokes

What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match?

Preparation H

What's the Italian version of Preparation-H?

Innuend-O

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

What's a astronauts favorite food?

Lays, because they are full of air.

What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out?

He saw stars.