Prepare Jokes

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

What does IRE-1 say to XBP1 mRNA?

Prepare to get RIDD of your intron.

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

What's the difference between an astronaut and a NASA intern?

One's constantly preparing for lunch.

How does NASA prepare for an organized event?

They planet!

How would u like that prepared?

ME: um medium well W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

How does Snoop Dogg prepare for Christmas?

He raps his presents

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How do you prepare for a party in space?

You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist

How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?

Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

How does Moses prepare his coffee?

Hebrews it.

How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade?

Drill drill drill.

Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

How does a white girl prepare for the world?

Basic training.

How would you describe yourself?

Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance.

Why people cry during the weddings?

They are preparing for whats coming afterwards

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Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

Where's a good place to get Italian food in the middle east?

Allah Garden.

What happened when the Italian chef died?

He pasta away

Triple H Jokes More Triple H Jokes

What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match?

Preparation H

Michael Phelps Jokes More Michael Phelps Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

How do you split Rome in half?

You use a pair of caesars.

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the phone say to the other phone after a bad rejection?

If you like it then you shudda put a ringtone on it.

Why do vampire's use linux?

Because they don't like windows in their house. BaDumTss

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

What's a zombies favourite brand of crisps?

Walkers

What do you call memories of zombies?

FLESHBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D Day Jokes More D Day Jokes

What's worse than being German on D-Day?

Being single on V-Day.

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin