Prepare Jokes

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

How do you prepare corn like Sean Connery?

Shuck it long, and shuck it hard.

What does IRE-1 say to XBP1 mRNA?

Prepare to get RIDD of your intron.

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

What's the difference between an astronaut and a NASA intern?

One's constantly preparing for lunch.

How does NASA prepare for an organized event?

They planet!

How would u like that prepared?

ME: um medium well W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done

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How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

How does Snoop Dogg prepare for Christmas?

He raps his presents

How does it feel?

Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow "What"

How do you prepare for a party in space?

You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist

How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?

Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

How does Moses prepare his coffee?

Hebrews it.

How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade?

Drill drill drill.

Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

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How does a white girl prepare for the world?

Basic training.

How would you describe yourself?

Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance.

Why people cry during the weddings?

They are preparing for whats coming afterwards

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Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?

Because they should use protection to practice safe text

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What sound does a dying Turkey make?

Coup coup coup

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Chopin Jokes More Chopin Jokes

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

Why was the pianist so depressed?

Because they weren't good at Chopin.

D Day Jokes More D Day Jokes

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

What's worse than being German on D-Day?

Being single on V-Day.

Corn Jokes More Corn Jokes

How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn?

A buck an ear

How much did the pirate pay for corn?

A buck an ear!

Composer Jokes More Composer Jokes

How does a composer remember which groceries to buy?

She writes a Chopin Liszt.

What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween?

I'll be Bach.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you do when your Apple device gets warm?

Ask apple to open the backdoor.

Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant?

Because he was Messi

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

Why did the Cook cross the road?

Because there were "Too Many Cooks".

Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast?

The game warden found out he poached his eggs!