What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through one of his skits without laughing

What's the difference between a garbanzo pea and a chick pea?

I've never had a garbanzo pea on my face.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why is he crying?

Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison M: What 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole.

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

World Jokes More World Jokes

Why was the chef mad?

He had all the money in the world, but no thyme.

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are these?

Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON.

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women want?

She has been talking nonstop for the last two days.

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with Vegetables?

Mrs Hawking

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a gun?

Guns don't move out when you bring a new one home.

How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip?

Bring two Mormons.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

How do you make an ugly kid?

Go ask your mother Courtesy of a hot dog vendor in Atlanta

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

Continue Jokes More Continue Jokes

Why do mathematicians only count up to 287?

Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish

Ensure Jokes More Ensure Jokes

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

Ralph Neighder!