Why do mathematicians only count up to 287?

Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue.

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Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

What's Subway Jared's favorite TV show?

19 Kids and Counting

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What do you call a Mathematician who is an outlaw and a liar?

An outlier downvote brigade can start now

Why did the mathematician get pulled over?

For drinking and deriving

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What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish