Why do mathematicians only count up to 287?

Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue.

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How does a blonde count a thousand sheep?

She counts the legs, and divides by 4.

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, "....I'll leave now.

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How did the Mathematician relieve his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil!

Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan.

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What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.