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Why do mathematicians only count up to 287?

Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue.

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What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had!

How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg?

Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesnt make it a leg.

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How do mathematicians count x-men?

Permutations.

What do you get a mathematician for his stag night?

A parallelogram.

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What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish