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Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

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What's the difference between a Pizza and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up Pizza.

Why did the German girl count to three, then cry?

Because her boyfriend was going in.

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What is Jesus' favorite workout?

Pontius Pilates

What would Jesus say if you angered him?

I'm Crossed.

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What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "Jesus Christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity