Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

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What is green and sits crying in the corner?

The incredible Sulk.

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby?

A cry for Alp!

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Why did Jesus have a six pack?

It was from all the cross-training...

What workout routine did Jesus stick to best?

Crossfit

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Why dosn't Jesus Christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "Jesus Christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity