What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "Jesus Christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

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What evil do the USA and Darth Vader have in common?

Using imperial units.

What do they use to pay for things in the Vatican?

Paypal

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How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

How do you tell who the extroverted engineers are?

They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why is Jesus so bad at hockey?

Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!

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Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

Why is Jesus Christ so buff?

Crossfit

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?

Same as now - in photos and mirrors," I replied

What does George Weasley see in the Mirror of Erised?

His reflection.

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings?

Legolas

What drug does the lord use to get work done?

God speed.