Jesus Christ Jokes

Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What would've happened if Jesus Christ didn't make Christmas?

It would've just been "mas".

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What do you call an exercise group run by Jesus Christ?

Crossfit.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ?

It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "Jesus Christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

Why dosn't Jesus Christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Why is Jesus Christ so buff?

Crossfit

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Board Jokes More Board Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

What is a carpenters dream girl?

Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing?

Because he didn't want to spoil his looks.

What did the Mtis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Dallas Jokes More Dallas Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't. They just talk about when it did work.

Crossfit Jokes More Crossfit Jokes

How did Jesus stay in shape?

Crossfit

How can you tell if someone does crossfit?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why cant bulimics be pitchers in baseball?

Because they always throw up

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

What is Saturn's favorite movie?

Lord of the Rings.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time?

Getting all high and mighty

What do graphic designers smoke up to get high?

Adobe.