Jesus Christ Jokes

Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

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What would've happened if Jesus Christ didn't make Christmas?

It would've just been "mas".

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What do you call an exercise group run by Jesus Christ?

Crossfit.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ?

It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "Jesus Christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

Why dosn't Jesus Christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Why is Jesus Christ so buff?

Crossfit

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What's the difference between a tsunami and a bear?

A tsunami doesn't care that you are faster than your buddy.

Why is Karl Marx a fan of the Galactic Empire?

He was born ina 1818.

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Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggy

Why do cowboys like dachshunds so much?

They like to get a long little doggie.

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What game does a black dad and son play forever?

Hide n' seek

What is the difference between Christmas music and Kobe Bryant?

Christmas music will still be playing next year.

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Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

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What would Jesus's favorite gun be?

A nail gun

What did Pontius Pilate say to Jesus?

If you drop that damn Cross again you are out of my Parade.

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What streaming site do eldritch horrors use?

Cth-Hulu

How do you contact dead window cleaners?

Use a squeegee board.

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What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

What do you say when a Polish magician performs a magic trick?

Nailed it

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What the hell?

Why are you skipping numbers girl 1: Because I can't even!!!

How much is the bare minimum?

1 bear.