Jesus Christ Jokes

Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

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What would've happened if Jesus Christ didn't make Christmas?

It would've just been "mas".

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What do you call an exercise group run by Jesus Christ?

Crossfit.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ?

It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "Jesus Christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

Why dosn't Jesus Christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Why is Jesus Christ so buff?

Crossfit

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Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Why did the Teletubbies find it hard to pee?

They only have one Tinkie-Winkie

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What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

Why wasn't the chemist concerned when she blew up her experiment?

Oxidants happen,

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Why does Jesus always leave a door open for you?

Because he was born in a barn.

How do you confuse a man?

You don't - they're born that way.

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How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

Why kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke?

Mahalo bro lights.

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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

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How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

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What did Mr &amp Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon?

But you cantaloupe!

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?