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What would've happened if Jesus Christ didn't make Christmas?

It would've just been "mas".

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What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes?

A banana split!

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What did Santa get the day after Christmas?

Diabetes

What's the difference between modern pop and Christmas music?

One is 6 people singing 100 songs, the other is 100 people singing 6 songs.

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Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor?

His resurrection lasted more than four hours.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)