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When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you tell a rabbit from a gorilla?

A rabbit doesn't look like a gorilla.

What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios?

Wow!! Donut seeds!!!!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Who's your friend who likes to play?

JOHN CENA** *DUn DUnDUnDUn DUn DUnDUnDUn.*

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.

Restaurant Jokes More Restaurant Jokes

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

What is the worst dinosaur to take to a restaurant?

A pretentious connoisseurous.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

What shape is your table?

Um, round But that's not really... R: Got it

Whisper Jokes More Whisper Jokes

What it is, sweetie?

3: shouting I POOPED! "Do you know what a secret is " 3: whispering no.

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"