Because Jesus Christ (Cries)
SIDS
Are you having a crisis?
Because her boyfriend was going in.
The baby grows up and learns to stop crying.
It told it a Nak-Nak joke! (In my language Urdu, Nak means nose.)
No one cries when you chop up the baby.
He was going through mid life crisis.
Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.
You must not bring either to the movies.
As he was about to swing to the next tree he said, "OK, Cheeta, hang on anywhere".
You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.
Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one
It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying:'(
You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond
It was degrating.
Because it's mom was in a real jam.
He went to Jared
Babies grow up and stop crying
Because it's blue
A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.
Watching his wife and children die before his eyes.
The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.
Because he couldn't handle his roast
A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.
Drop it. How do you make a baby stop crying? Drop it again.
Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help.
Because all his friends Argon.
No one cries when you cut up an accordion
He had lost a deer friend
My donation check to Feed the Children!
My donation check to the orphanage.
His parents were in a jam.
One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.
Because his mother was in a jam.
ME crying:
The breakdown lane.
Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool
A crying saucer.
Because he just couldn't bereave it.
His mum had been a wafer too long.
He is asked why are you so crying Do you cry about your close relative -No, I am crying about the first husband of my wife.
Me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep
I would feel awkward dancing to reggae music.
Because it's mom was a wafer so long.
Kids: WE DO! YAY!
The Soviet Onion
The incredible Sulk.
Me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack
Asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"
Its peelings were hurt.
At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.
YOU'RE MOM.
Doing your job. "And me " Jobless and upset about the divorce "OMG" *runs out crying*
Because he was empty inside.
You cry when you cut up an onion.
She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!
Stop crying and viper your nose!
No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe.
Because he was soda-pressing
Mace...
She cried. I responded, "Well, I can't. That's why I'm doing it to her."
I cry whenever I see them.
Asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'
Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies.
Midlife crisis
Because it's the most painful day in their lives
A tearjerker
No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
No one cries when you cut up Pizza.
A cry for Alp!
They are preparing for whats coming afterwards
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
A weeping Willow.
Cried Baby Bear.
Stop crying and viper your nose.
In the midnight hour she cried "Moe! Moe! Moe!"
Could you cry me a beer
Snowoman no cry.
I cry when I chop an onion.
He thought he was melting.
What son *Dad cries with joy
Policeman: It was a moving violation.
Because calling them Republican presidential candidates would make me cry.
A child with pitchfork in his back
Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!
Get John Boehner to cry.
Don't cry, it's only a joke
Because he bawled.
Asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.
He asked. "To my mother-in-law's burial." "Then why the scratches on your face " "She kept resisting, that old fart."
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)
An elevator has a GF
Me: *names two of them*
One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.
Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner
They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
Nail its other hand to the floor.
Internettles.
This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer.
About 3 pounds.......not counting the urn!
The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had!
