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What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?

Stop crying and viper your nose!

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why did the water level in the pond rise?

Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies.

Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis?

She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?

Hide their trainers.

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby?

I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline

What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?

Obi-Gyn Kenobi.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What do you find in an empty nose?

Fingerprints.

How do you know when there's a elephant under your bed?

Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.

Viper Jokes More Viper Jokes

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake?

Stop crying and viper your nose.

What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen?

A viper!