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What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?

Stop crying and viper your nose!

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion.

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

Asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

What do you call a cow that stopped producing milk?

An udder failure.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a stamp?

I don't have a stamp collection.

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?

He was a ghoulsnif fer.

What is the name of the guy with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Viper Jokes More Viper Jokes

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake?

Stop crying and viper your nose.

What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?

Stop crying and viper your nose!