Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

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Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

Why do math teachers never get constipated?

Because they always work problems out with a pencil.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Stop going in circles and get to the point.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

What's the difference between the IRS and a baby?

It takes a lot more than a hammer to make the IRS shut up.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends?

Endless Bread!

Where are all the women in amateur astronomy?

At the other end of the telescope.

Rubber Jokes More Rubber Jokes

What do you call a used rubber in a church parking lot?

Family practice

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.