What do a baby and an Etch A Sketch have in common?

If you don't like it, you just shake it and start over.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you start an earthquake in East Africa?

Shake Djibouti.

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?..."POPCORN"!! What were you thinking?!?!?!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How do you like it?

Me: Salty...of course *slaps down $20 CG: We'll take two pretzels with salt Get outta the gutter pervs

How long does it take a necrophiliac to screw in a light bulb?

Not long... they like to do it while it's still warm.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck.

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)