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Why don't elephants like martinis?

Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it?

It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What kind of elephants live in Antartica?

Cold ones!

How do you hide an elephant in a fridge?

You remove his slippers and open the door. You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What do you call an STI in your nose?

Sniff-illis

How do you stop a dog smelling?

Put a peg on it's nose!

Olive Jokes More Olive Jokes

What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?

I'll live...

What's a martini's favorite garnish?

Olive 'em!

Martini Jokes More Martini Jokes

What did the martini say when someone put a toothpick in it?

It hurts, but olive.

Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox?

He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini.