Olive Jokes

What did the martini say when someone put a toothpick in it?

It hurts, but olive.

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What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?

I'll live...

Why is there an olive in your water?

Me: What water Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.

Why don't elephants like martinis?

Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose

What kind of olives do I like?

Olive them

Why is it called extra virgin olive oil?

Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.

What's a martini's favorite garnish?

Olive 'em!

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What do Reddit Users and Olive Oil have in common?

They're both extra virgin.

Why does Popeye have such huge forearms?

Olive Oil is a virgin

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

What kind of ideas do blind people get?

Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What's the difference between procrastination and laziness?

RemindMe! 2 days to edit this post

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

What's up Dad Party!" dads go nuts "I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?

Dads in unison DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What equine likes to cut in line?

A sawhorse!

Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch?

Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.

Bee Jokes More Bee Jokes

What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

Milk and honey.

What does a bee get at McDonalds?

A humburger!

Reindeer Jokes More Reindeer Jokes

What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it?

A Jolly Rancher.

What street in France do reindeer live on?

Rue Dolph