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What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies?

Disney movies can still touch children.

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company?

Progressive

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

Smooth Jokes More Smooth Jokes

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders