What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

When is it bedtime at the neverland ranch?

When the big hand touches the little one.

What's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra virgin olive oil?

Thick Italian accent* "She don't even touch it."

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

Why does Bernie Sanders use Snapchat?

Damn E-mails!

Smooth Jokes More Smooth Jokes

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders