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Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

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Smooth Jokes More Smooth Jokes

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

M&M Jokes More M&M Jokes

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Why do blondes hate M&Ms?

They're too hard to peel.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?

Try picking it up. If you can't it's either a monster or a giant banana.

What monsters are all the tools in the toolbox afraid of?

Vampliers