Smooth Jokes

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

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Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Event Jokes More Event Jokes

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What do you call a runner who hates every event but his own?

A raceist

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why is your face all scratched?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses!

What do a cab driver and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them...the more english you get out.

Wrinkle Jokes More Wrinkle Jokes

How do Muslim women get wrinkles off their faces?

Fabric softener.

What's pink and wrinkled and hangs out your undies?

Your grandma.

Telephone Jokes More Telephone Jokes

What do you say when the inventor of the telephone falls over?

Alexander Graham Fell!

What fish sounds like a telephone?

Herring herring...herring herring...herring herring.

Sea Lion Jokes More Sea Lion Jokes

How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

Remove an electron.

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

Asprin Jokes More Asprin Jokes

Why are asprins white?

Because they work.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

Tic Tac Jokes More Tic Tac Jokes

Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?

Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

What's a tick's favorite food?

A tic tac

Episode Jokes More Episode Jokes

What do you say when an episode of explosive diarrhoea turns into a round of smooth poop?

What a wondrous *turd* of events.

Why was the ghost on an episode of Hoaders?

He was a little... Possesive