Smooth Jokes

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

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Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Event Jokes More Event Jokes

What is the difference between an event at the X Games and a sorrority?

One is a bunch of Cunning Stunts

What is the best definition of irony?

Irony irne/ noun a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.

Wrinkle Jokes More Wrinkle Jokes

What's the smallest thing in the universe?

A pebble caught between the wrinkle of a flea's ball.

How do Muslim women get wrinkles off their faces?

Fabric softener.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What did the bear say to the judge?

I bearly touched her.

What's the most frighting thing you can read in braille?

Do not touch.

Mayor Jokes More Mayor Jokes

What did the mayor of dinosaur town say when crime increased by 50%?

This calls for Jurastic changes

How did the townspeople react when the mayor presented them with a cost efficient, vegan protein source?

They chia'd.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do ducks use to get high?

Quack cocaine

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

Iron Jokes More Iron Jokes

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

Depressed.

Why can't iron oxide get a date?

Porque es FeO Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call it when a neurologist is found embezzling and he later runs away?

A Fraudian slip.

What runs faster?

Hot or cold Hot because everyone can catch a cold!

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)

What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

She turned it over and used the other side.