D Jokes

What are a pirate's least favorite letters?

D, M, C, and A.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Whats a pirates favourite letter???

Youd think itd be rrrrr but tis the sea.

What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test?

They bio-D-grade.

What did C: drive say to D: drive?

Wow you looked shocked.

Why is there a "D" in fridge but not in refrigerator?

Because you don't put the "D" in the big ones.

Why is the Computer D Drive always sad?

Which vitamine are feminists missing?

What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth?

Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?

Because he can see the D

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

What do you get from a frozen zombie?

Frost bite. D

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Why do mermaids wear sea shells?

Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small.

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

Why does Edward Woodwood have four D's in his name?

Because otherwise his name would be E-war Woo-woo.

How did Canada get its name?

They picked random letters out of a hat. C.... eh? N... eh? D....eh?

Why are wedding in Wales so inexpensive?

The brides are already dressed in white.

What do you call a Doctor who received all 'D's in Medical School?

Doctor

What is the difference between a laddie and a lady?

One has a d where the other doesn't.

Why would two melons in love hate their parents?

Because they cantaloupe. =D.....=).....=='(

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

What kind of sounds does Jaimie Foxx make in the bedroom?

No sound at all, the D is silent

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How can you make your d bigger?

CAPS LOCK

Why did the blonde wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop D

Why can't you hear Django coming?

The D is silent.

Why did Skrillex's girlfriend dump him?

Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY.

How do you get a girl from the Midwest to "s" your "d"?

Dip it in ranch.

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What starts with 'D' and has two letters in it?

How done is she?

A.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even

Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?

Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

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Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny?

Because he'd D graded her.

What's the difference between Bad Jokes and Dad Jokes?

One starts with B and the otber starts with D

How do you get a woman from to be, to bed?

Give her the D.

When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch?

What does December have that other months dont have?

The letter D.

Why are wedding gowns white?

Cuz the dishwasher should match the stove and the fridge

Why was the lesbian mad when she got her report card?

Cause she got a D

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?

It made him wed his plants!

Why are wedding dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the stove.

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter "D"!

What do these shoes do?

GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame tries new pair And these G: Wait- D: clicks heels turns into hamburger

What is the biggest battery size?

The D. It's huge.

What "D" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in?

Blon-D

Why did Yoda never get married?

Because when he was standing by alter, and asked "If he would take this women as his lawful wedded wife " His response was "Do I "

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?

He whale-d

Why is C afraid of D?

Because DEEZ NUTS!

What did C say to E?

She wants the D.

What does Brown Santa say?

Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's.

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

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Why did Jesus have a six pack?

It was from all the cross-training...

What do good dragons read when they are pregnant?

How to Train Your Dragon. Good parenting, that is.

Panther Jokes More Panther Jokes

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

Ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

Who's There -Panther -Panther who?

Panther no pants, I'm going swimming!

Refrigerator Jokes More Refrigerator Jokes

How's the business?

2) Do you have a girlfriend 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator

How do you catch a refrigerator?

Well then you better go catch it!

De Jokes More De Jokes

What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet?

He de-deuces.

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Where does the Lone Ranger take his trash?

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump.

Why did the banker dump his girlfriend?

He lost interest.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

Submitting a stool sample.

What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call the crucified baby Jesus?

Baby on board.

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

What is the syndrome that endangers the dental well-being of over-anxious or stressed-out LGBT's?

Brucism

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me