Decide Jokes

What did the Special Needs Rowing Team decide to call themselves?

Oartism

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Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

What do you call it when you can't decide between a natural birth and the hospital?

A midwife crisis.

Why did the chicken decide not to cross the road?

Because it did.

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Why did the storm trooper decide to buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the right droid he was looking for.

Why did Mr. Steaks decide he would take his wife's surname?

Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.

Why did the acronym buff decide to go join the etymologists instead?

He heard they had PIE.

Why did the fisherman decide to go fishing?

For the halibut.

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What made Bruce decide against Jacqueline for his new name?

He was afraid his nickname would be Jockie.

What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.

How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

What did Chris Christie say when asked if he had plans to run in the 2016 presidential election?

After giving it a substantial amount of thought and discussing it with my advisors, I've decided against it. I mean, I'd love to, and I appreciate those who'd support me, but I feel like I wouldn't be able to take the stress mentally- and physically." After being asked what physical stress he'd experience, he responded: "I don't think I'd be able to handle that much running."