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How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him

What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite?

A Baboom!

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

How many bitter Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, we've decided to let a man do the job.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away its USB cable.

How much will that be?

Asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

City Jokes More City Jokes

Why is Paris the city of love?

Hard P and a soft A. Modified from comment section of reddit

Where do mathematicians go to gamble?

Sine city