City Jokes

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

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Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What city are you in when you drop your waffle on the beach?

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO...there you are

What city does Affirmative Action Aslan live?

Kathmandu.

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city?

Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.

How do the French defend a city?

We don't know, they've never tried it.

What is the definition of irony?

Having a democratic debate in a city that was destroyed by over 50 years of democratic rule.

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

What city would you be in if you dropped your waffle on the beach?

Sandy ego.

What city is the favorite place for anti-Semites?

Juno

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How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Which city u cannot enter?

ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis?

Taking shellfies with their shellphones.

Where do mathematicians go to gamble?

Sine city

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man?

Hopefully not a repost) The city supports the bench. Badum-tsss

What US city has the dirtiest frozen waffles?

San Diego

What do you call Abby who lives in the city?

Downtown Abby

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

Why is Paris the city of love?

Hard P and a soft A. Modified from comment section of reddit

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit?

Osaka.

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Rome Jokes More Rome Jokes

Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

X always equals 10

Who ate a lot and conquered Rome?

Atilla the Hungry.

Invade Jokes More Invade Jokes

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?

Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.

Perfect Time Jokes More Perfect Time Jokes

What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A metro-gnome

What's the perfect time to go to the dentist?

Two thirty.

Metro Gnome Jokes More Metro Gnome Jokes

What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A metro-gnome

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

What do you call a woman rolling around on a beach?

Sandy

Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan.

Irony Jokes More Irony Jokes

What is irony?

When the last person you want to see is the last person you see.

What's the definition of irony?

An incongruity between expectation and result.

Philadelphia Jokes More Philadelphia Jokes

What effect does global warming have on Pennsylvania?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common?

Reclaiming black bodies.

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

What do the LGBT community and computers have in common?

Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!

When do cops blow up and destroy shopping centers and Walmarts?

During Black Friday.