Sister Jokes

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

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Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?

Ow, mitosis!

Why did my sister go down to the fish market?

Oh just for the Halibut!

What do your sister and snow have in common?

I plow both.

What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis!

What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

SWV (sisters with voices)

What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend?

He dates his other sister.

What should I give your sister for unzipping?

Him: Um, ten bucks? Me: Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from bash.org

How did the rednecks find their sister?

Pretty good.

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What does alcohol free beer taste like?

Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.

Why did the oven go back to University?

To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

Why don't you ask your sister?

But I don't have a.........oooooh.

Why do you always fight with your sisters?

6-year-old: Because I always win.

What did Josh say when asked if his sister was good in bed?

I Duggar.

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

Why so glum Chum?

Asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

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How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him?

Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe Polish for breakfast?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

What did the pirate say to his sister?

Aye sis

What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church?

Nun is better!

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

Which is farther away- NY City or the moon?

Sister: NY City. Why do ask Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City.

What do terrorists say to their sister?

H'Isis

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

What do rednecks say after they broke up?

We can still be brother and sister.

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

Why did your sister keep running around her bed?

Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

What does the hillbilly say when his sister is surprised?

Well it's the right hole naw!

Why did your sister feed money to her cow?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

What would you do without me?

Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

No problem, He sleeps at night.

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Who do you think I am?

Some sort of karate expert I can't even open a Cheetos bag.

What do you think Mozart is doing right now?

Decomposing.

Hoedown Jokes More Hoedown Jokes

What do a thug and hillbilly have in common?

They both like to throw a hoedown.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

How many ADD's does it take to change a light bulb?

Let's go fishing

Robot Jokes More Robot Jokes

Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose?

An olfactory reset.

Student Jokes More Student Jokes

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?

Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.

Why are teachers always making answer keys?

So they can open doors of opportunity for their students.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

What do you call a sacred, flammable piece of wood?

A match made in Heaven.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why do the homies call their friend Paragraph?

Because he's too short to be an essay

What did she say about me?

Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that Too many questions Really Me...What else