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Sister Jokes

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?

Ow, mitosis!

Why did my sister go down to the fish market?

Oh just for the Halibut!

What do your sister and snow have in common?

I plow both.

What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis!

What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

SWV (sisters with voices)

What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend?

He dates his other sister.

What should I give your sister for unzipping?

Him: Um, ten bucks? Me: Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from bash.org

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Love

Love

How did the rednecks find their sister?

Pretty good.

Why did the grain call his sister "momma"?

Because he was in bread!

What does alcohol free beer taste like?

Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.

Why did the oven go back to University?

To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

Why don't you ask your sister?

But I don't have a.........oooooh.

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

Why do you always fight with your sisters?

6-year-old: Because I always win.

What did Josh say when asked if his sister was good in bed?

I Duggar.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

Why so glum Chum?

Asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Why was this in the trash?

Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous.

What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him?

Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe Polish for breakfast?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

What did the pirate say to his sister?

Aye sis

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church?

Nun is better!

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

Which is farther away- NY City or the moon?

Sister: NY City. Why do ask Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City.

What do terrorists say to their sister?

H'Isis

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

What do rednecks say after they broke up?

We can still be brother and sister.

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

Why did your sister keep running around her bed?

Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

What does the hillbilly say when his sister is surprised?

Well it's the right hole naw!

What's it called when a smell dates his sister?

Incense!

Why did your sister feed money to her cow?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

What would you do without me?

Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon?

Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

By walking...... JK Rowling

Why did the man get kicked out of the "Russian" bar?

Because he walked in.

Dude Jokes More Dude Jokes

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

Whoa! Dude! Why is Judge Judy in my house?

And why is she wearing my underpants

3 Week Jokes More 3 Week Jokes

Who should get the cat?

I don't know...let's see who he loves the most" 3 weeks later Can you tell "Nope"

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Bake Jokes More Bake Jokes

What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?

He got baked.

What is Chalah before it's baked?

Judo

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

What's the main problem with Wookie steaks?

They're a little Chewie. (Edit: Wookiee***)

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

What is twitter?

3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life

Gypsy Jokes More Gypsy Jokes

What do you call a gypsy in a suit?

The defendant