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Sister Jokes

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

Love Card

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Love Card

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?

Ow, mitosis!

Why did my sister go down to the fish market?

Oh just for the Halibut!

What do your sister and snow have in common?

I plow both.

What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis!

What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

SWV (sisters with voices)

What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend?

He dates his other sister.

What should I give your sister for unzipping?

Him: Um, ten bucks? Me: Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from bash.org

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

How did the rednecks find their sister?

Pretty good.

Why did the grain call his sister "momma"?

Because he was in bread!

What does alcohol free beer taste like?

Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.

Why did the oven go back to University?

To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

Why don't you ask your sister?

But I don't have a.........oooooh.

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

Why do you always fight with your sisters?

6-year-old: Because I always win.

What did Josh say when asked if his sister was good in bed?

I Duggar.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

Why so glum Chum?

Asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Why was this in the trash?

Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous.

What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him?

Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe Polish for breakfast?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

What did the pirate say to his sister?

Aye sis

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church?

Nun is better!

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

Which is farther away- NY City or the moon?

Sister: NY City. Why do ask Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City.

What do terrorists say to their sister?

H'Isis

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

What do rednecks say after they broke up?

We can still be brother and sister.

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

Why did your sister keep running around her bed?

Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

What does the hillbilly say when his sister is surprised?

Well it's the right hole naw!

What's it called when a smell dates his sister?

Incense!

Why did your sister feed money to her cow?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

What would you do without me?

Apparently, "Your sister" was the wrong answer.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Nissan Jokes More Nissan Jokes

What is another name for a Nissan Cube?

A tool box.

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

What do you call racist jokes that are made about black people?

Dark humor

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

How many recovering alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

We'll get on it next week

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

Hoedown Jokes More Hoedown Jokes

What do a thug and hillbilly have in common?

They both like to throw a hoedown.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Why did the protester cross the road?

To get to the Occupy! EDIT: To get to the other side/Occupy?

Email Jokes More Email Jokes

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

Why did you burn that building down?

Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.