Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Stevie Wonder call his money?

Wonderbread. Anyone want to be my friend

Why was the programmer unhappy at his job?

He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow?

You stop milking the cow after ten years.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa knows to stop after three Ho's.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army?

You've got no beef soldier!

How can you tell when a politician is lying?

When their lips move

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Why did the golfer take a spare pair of trousers with him?

Incase he got a hole in one!

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What did the manager of a log cutting company tell his employees when they were working too slow?

Chop chop.

Why didn't the shepherd cut off his sheep's wool?

Shear laziness.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him?

Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What type of sense of humor does rain have?

A very wet sense of humor

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.