Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What is the last thing you want to hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson' Credit: old joke via: Norm Macdonald

Why are some musicians so antisocial?

Because all they want is tonics and dominance.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

What's the difference between a lorry with good brakes, and a lorry with nice brakes?

A Lorry with Nice breaks doesn't stop until after a mile.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when a wine connoisseur is happy?

They have a semillon!

What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What did the dentist say to the golfer?

You have a hole in one.

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why are Wendy's burgers so good?

Because they don't cut corners.

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?

To stop getting wet!