Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?

Your spinning me a yarn here!

How do you explain a man birthing a baby?

Taco Bell for lunch

People Jokes More People Jokes

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Where do people with one leg work?

Ihop

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask "where am I?

And whatever they say I runaway screaming "Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"

What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon?

The Bear Glare.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Who the hell is this 'Foreclosure' guy?

And what is he running for

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Hell-if-I-know