What the hell are you doing with that ivory and gold dress?

I said, "It's not what it looks like!"

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

What's a rabbi's favorite type of bar?

It's sure as hell not a bar-mitzvah, those things are expensive.