What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean?

I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How does the alchemist please his wife?

Elixir!!!!!

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Which part of your body shuts down last when you die?

The eyes, cause they di-late.

What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella?

The umbrella can be shut up.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

Why are you home so early?

Me: My boss told me to go to hell

Attic Jokes More Attic Jokes

What do you call a Star Wars fan in an attic?

Annakin Frank

What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell