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When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?

Carpet!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a power tool?

Power tools are found inside the Home Depot.

What did Jupiter say to Saturn when he found out Saturn was pregnant?

Did you planet?

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's wrong with them?

His boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$?

They were Holo-costly

Where do Americans buy their groceries in Afghanistan?

At the infideli counter.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.

Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.