When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's black and white and red allover?

My dalmatian after being hit by a car

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

You park your car, man.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama?

Eggs-aisle.

Where would you find more Leifs than in a forest?

Valhalla.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked?

He couldn't think of anything, and said "I'll mullet over"

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

How does a man keep his youth?

By giving her money furs and diamonds.