When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What car do dogs drive?

A Doge charger

Why could Don Juan always pick up girls in his car?

It was electric. Also, the car had a set of hands.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Which chemical compound are you most likely to find at a frat party?

Hydrogen mide.

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the pot-smoking alien say when asked what toppings he wanted on his sammich?

Ayy lil' mayo.

What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked?

He couldn't think of anything, and said "I'll mullet over"

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro?

They don't believe in higher power.

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Put it on my bill

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.