Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

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What did the scientists say when they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Alabama?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

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Why cant programmers tell the difference between Christmas and Thanksgiving?

Because oct 31 = dec 25

How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?

His tricycle will be parked outside.

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Why are jokes in base 8 not funny?

Because 7,10,11!

What's the difference between Batman's parents and jokes about Batman's parents?

Jokes about Batman's parents can get old.

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What do you call The Bear who loves philosophy?

Winnie the Philosopooh

What is the philosophy of a necrophiliac?

Sit back, relax and crack open a cold one