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Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

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What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

Where is the best place to find hot grills?

A barbecue

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How can you tell if a person is a vegetarian?

Don't worry. They'll tell you they're a vegetarian.

How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out?

You can see the definition.

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What joke has sebadoh for a punch line?

A joke about what kind of dough does an Italian use to make seb bread, with really good delivery.

Why doesn't anyone tell jokes about Jonestown?

The punchline is too long.

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What kind of a friar loves philosophy?

A deep friar.

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!