Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

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What do you find inside a clean nose?

Fingerprints

Why does the Empire use Apple?

Because they couldn't find the droid they were looking for

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What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

What did Nietzsche tell his editor when he finished writing Thus Spoke Zarathustra?

It's over, man.

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How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

What type of jokes do planets tell each other?

Cosmic jokes.

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What kind of a friar loves philosophy?

A deep friar.

Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.