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Diamond Jokes

What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car.

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Why is a baby like an diamond?

Because it's a dear little thing.

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

How does a man keep his youth?

By giving her money furs and diamonds.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.