How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?

He got arrested just like you would've.

What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld?

Did you ever notice he seems to start off all of his jokes in one of two ways

End Jokes More End Jokes

What does a gamer call the zombie apocalypse?

The end of DayZ

What do feet and fairytales have in common?

They're both leg ends.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Why don't vampires like steak?

Because it's bad for their heart.

Club Jokes More Club Jokes

What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

Why did a seal go to the bar?

Because he didn't want to go clubbing.

Spade Jokes More Spade Jokes

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?

Take his spade away.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

What did the snake priest say to the snake groom after the marriage?

You may now "hiss" the bride.

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

How many forever alone guys does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he wishes it was two.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.