What did the snake priest say to the snake groom after the marriage?

You may now "hiss" the bride.

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Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

TLDR

Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub?

So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

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What starts out happy but ends in tears?

Marriage

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

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What do you even say to someone like that?

I just hissed at them.

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

Claude