NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things
A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog.
Two test tickles
They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!
He has lots of antibodies.
They have hearts of stone.
Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*
She wanted to be a nurse.
Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.
Asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.
God knows he's not a surgeon.
Oh. My. God. You're hired.
A tresume.
