What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the last thing you hear before a pubic hair falls to the ground?

Spits*

Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What did the pig say when his wife left him?

Don't go bacon my heart

Why don't vampires like steak?

Because it's bad for their heart.

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here

What did the nurse who knocked on the pregnant lady's door say?

Womb Service!

Surgeon Jokes More Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

Resume Jokes More Resume Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Whats the most common work of fiction?

The average persons resume