Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What happens when a pirate turns 60?

He joins AARP

How do you turn tap water into holy water?

You boil the HELL out of it! Har har har.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

What was the last thing Daedalus said to Icarus?

You've got a lot of potential, son.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why should you never stand behind Elsa from Frozen?

You never know when she'll Let it Go.

Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?

Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What did the monster say to his psychiatrist?

I feel abominable.'

What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

Edward.