Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do I turn my new girlfriend on?

She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.

When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?

In the Sith grade.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

How do Eskimos make things stick together?

Igloo

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

How is your job and your wife different?

I don't mind telling work the other jobs I've done

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

What's the difference between Colin Kaepernick and a martyr?

One stood for something

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?

Because its head is so far away from its body.

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

What's big heavy furry dangerous and has sixteen wheels?

A monster on roller-skates.