The real joke is always in the comments!
Eyyyy, Garry, didn't know you turned into a hotdog stand too! Eyyyy!
A solmate
Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A, Cadillac. Ba dum tssss
Because if they didn't they'd fall over.
For being out standing in his field.
One stood for something
Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!
They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.
Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.
Go Outside
It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.
Antique machinery
Dix.
Because they're two tired
Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.
Understandabull
One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.
He's out standing in his field
A wind tunnel.
The Aylmao.
But we'll never know, because he can't stand up?
Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.
Because he nuts and bolts.
Because he's always standing by The Edge.
It was out standing in its field!
When he sits down it takes too long to get back up.
You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees.
Because its two tyred
His vision was based on movements.
Fix It Again Tony
Because you need to be 21 to get in.
Where are the udders? (Thanks to my three boys for that one!)
Because she couldn't stand him.
The earth revolves around me.
Stand up!
He wanted to be on time.
You usually want to stand at a corner, they're around 90 degree's
Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.
Ali
You never know when she'll Let it Go.
BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE
Benoit B. Mandelbrot
For the watch
He had no leg to stand on.
Reddit: Re-Downvote Downvote it.
Ask them what OP stands for.
Annette.
Four. One to change the bulb, three to stand around so he has someone to hi-five after.
Ereptile Dysfunction.
A round of applause...because they all have the clap.
A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.
Mental Abuse To Humans
He hadn't got a leg to stand on.
Because she was out standing in her field.
Someone who is out-standing in his field!
A stand up guy
It's two tired.
An ambulance.
I can't stand being in this
None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won't screw.
Read all the other threads. I need new content. The old stuff is getting, well old. Here's my contribution. Have you head of the new drinking game? The mike brown special: stand there and take 12 shots. What's the difference between mike brown and a college kid? College kids can handle more shots before they fall down.
Cause he can't do stand-up.
He was always out standing.
None, they just all stand around complaining that it won't screw!
I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.
Because it's two-tired
A receding hare line!
Because corners are
To teach women how to stand on their hind legs.
Six: one to screw it in and five to cheer him on loudly while standing in front of other people's bulbs so no one can see them.
Because he's covering an erection!
I stand corrected." -From
He couldn't stand all the racket!
She couldn't stand making Kermitments
Don't stand so close to me.
Stand in a corner, corners are 90 degrees
It was too tired.
Benot B. Mandelbrot
So women know where to stand in the kitchen.
They are out standing in their field.
Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!
She isn't standing in the kitchen
They can not stand stakes!
He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun.
Because he was out standing in his field.
None they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend
It was too tired...
Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.
A stand up driver.
They can't stand a Nickleback!
Some nights, I don't know.
100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.
Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada
Gary Glitters boots.
They're two-tired.
Wade
OC A receeding Herr line.
It depends how hard you throw them.
Their last big hits were The Wall.
It's no bad luck to walk under a truck.
A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.
You stand on a stool, though I prefer the ladder
In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.
The changing rooms!
Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!
Terra-fied.
Because it had their Curiosity.
The boy responds "Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."
I think I'll just hang around.
He waits for it at the next stop.
Usain Bolt.
That's the punchline. Comment with the lead up and may the best one win.
"We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
