The real joke is always in the comments!
A solmate
Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A, Cadillac. Ba dum tssss
Because if they didn't they'd fall over.
For being out standing in his field.
One stood for something
Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!
They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.
Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.
Go Outside
It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.
Antique machinery
Because they're two tired
Understandabull
One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.
He's out standing in his field
A wind tunnel.
The Aylmao.
But we'll never know, because he can't stand up?
Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.
Because he's always standing by The Edge.
It was out standing in its field!
When he sits down it takes too long to get back up.
You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees.
Because its two tyred
His vision was based on movements.
Fix It Again Tony
Because you need to be 21 to get in.
Where are the udders? (Thanks to my three boys for that one!)
Because she couldn't stand him.
The earth revolves around me.
Stand up!
He wanted to be on time.
You usually want to stand at a corner, they're around 90 degree's
Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.
Ali
You never know when she'll Let it Go.
BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE
Benoit B. Mandelbrot
For the watch
Ask them what OP stands for.
Annette.
Four. One to change the bulb, three to stand around so he has someone to hi-five after.
Ereptile Dysfunction.
A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.
Mental Abuse To Humans
He hadn't got a leg to stand on.
Because she was out standing in her field.
Someone who is out-standing in his field!
A stand up guy
It's two tired.
An ambulance.
None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won't screw.
Cause he can't do stand-up.
He was always out standing.
None, they just all stand around complaining that it won't screw!
I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.
Because it's two-tired
A receding hare line!
Because corners are
Six: one to screw it in and five to cheer him on loudly while standing in front of other people's bulbs so no one can see them.
Because he's covering an erection!
He couldn't stand all the racket!
She couldn't stand making Kermitments
Don't stand so close to me.
Stand in a corner, corners are 90 degrees
It was too tired.
Benot B. Mandelbrot
So women know where to stand in the kitchen.
They are out standing in their field.
Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!
They can not stand stakes!
He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun.
Because he was out standing in his field.
None they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend
It was too tired...
Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.
A stand up driver.
They can't stand a Nickleback!
Some nights, I don't know.
100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.
Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada
Gary Glitters boots.
They're two-tired.
Wade
OC A receeding Herr line.
Make me one with everything.
Head Russian...
Cuatros Cincos
Because it was too tired.
One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.
Stand in the corner, because it's 90 degrees.
I'm staunchly pro-volone.
He couldn't stand it.
Stand it on four bricks!
Put an apple on your head & stand still he'll Tell you.
A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
I don't know, check the post above me.
Two. One to screw it in and one to take credit for it.
Because his stool so hard!
They turn the stool upside down
You go to the corner cause it's always 90 degrees.
Its always 90 Degrees
Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
Because criminals keep turning themselves into police.
Ayyyeeeee mmmaattteeeyyy.
All together now!) ***"How's it hangin' "*** Skip
Casper the Friendly Pickle.
Wham, bam, thank you fam
He falls off
I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!
I am not a cook
