What's six feet tall, silver and stands at the end of kids beds?

Gary Glitters boots.

This joke may have profanity.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that?

When Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well.

What's your stand on renewable energy?

I don't know about you, but I'm a Big Fan.

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How did Godzilla get the job opportunity?

Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall.

How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?

You take the letter F out of way.

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Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel?

I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.