What is the best stand-up routine of our time?

I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why should you never stand behind Elsa from Frozen?

You never know when she'll Let it Go.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

Nominate Jokes More Nominate Jokes

What is the best stand-up routine of our time?

I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.

What's the real reason Lego Movie didn't get nominated for an Oscar?

They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".