Why do vampires hate Texas Roadhouse?

They can not stand stakes!

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What happens when Vladimir Putin stands up too fast?

Head Russian...

How do you hire an elephant?

Stand it on four bricks!

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Why do Vampires hate Writers?

Because they hate Type O's

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

Stake Jokes More Stake Jokes

Why don't witches like The Keg?

Because it's always burned at the stake

Why did the cautious gambler never go camping?

He didn't want to stake his tent.