Why does everyone hate me?

I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.

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What happens when you turn on a computer?

You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk

How do you turn soup into gold?

You add 24 carats!

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Why do terrorists hate wine?

Because there are too many zinfandel's.

Why do vampires hate Texas Roadhouse?

They can not stand stakes!

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How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute

Why does everyone hate me?

I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.