What does HONDA stand for?

Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life?

Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window

What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

Honda Jokes More Honda Jokes

What's the most reliable thing about a Honda?

It's theft rate.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Accelerate Jokes More Accelerate Jokes

What does HONDA stand for?

Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!