Honda Jokes

What does HONDA stand for?

Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.

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What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion....I'll, uh, see myself out.

What's the most reliable thing about a Honda?

It's theft rate.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

Bro Jokes More Bro Jokes

Why did the bros take a shot of alcohol together?

Because if one bro takes a shot, the other takes a slug! #Bromanceforlife #Dietogether

What did one bodybuilder ask the other?

How much do you whey bro

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

What does Bill Cosby have in common with Ninjas?

Their victims never see them coming.

What's Bill Cosby's New Favorite Snack?

Jail-O

Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL?

Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants.

How much would you say you read the Bible?

Well, I don't read it religiously." Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.

Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?

The volleyball net.

What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of investments do musicians make?

Sound investments.

What kind of bird does 2 Chainz own?

Toucan

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

What did the otter say to his girlfriend?

You are my significant otter.