Why does the Asian News Anchor not stand up from behind his desk during presidential races?

Because he's covering an erection!

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Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What if Stephen Hawking was the real slim shady?

But we would never know because he couldn't stand up

Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own?

It was two-tired. *Slaps knee* *Prosthetic leg falls off*

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.

Desk Jokes More Desk Jokes

What would be funny about Hillary as president?

That she would be sitting at the desk that Monica once kneeled under!

Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.