What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?

His desk is level

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What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider?

You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry

What is a Budget?

An orderly system for living beyond your means.

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I've never paid to have a lentil in my mouth.

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Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

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Why do older polygons make sure their sides all stay an equal length?

It keeps you regular.

How can you tell that the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling out of sides of his mouth.

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He wanted to work overtime.

What did the floor say to the desk?

I can see your drawers!

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It was wrong on so many levels.

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He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

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What does an accountant call a friend's birthday party?

X-post from /r/tax) A present liability!

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

Drool Jokes More Drool Jokes

How can you tell when the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling equally from both sides of his mouth.

What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?

His desk is level