Cover Jokes

Why did the ghost stink?

Because it was covered in sheet

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's the difference between a pontiff's chin and the kitchen sink?

One's covered in soap bubbles, while the other's covered in Pope stubbles.

What do you call it when someone gets covered by a landslide?

A bu-rock-ke

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

Why do mermaids wear bras?

To cover up their Ariel-as.

How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im

What do you call a young plastic covered sheep?

Laminated

Why did the oil covered seagull get sued?

There can only be one goo gull

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover.

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

Why did the mermaid cover her breasts with seashells?

She outgrew her B shells.

Why does the Asian News Anchor not stand up from behind his desk during presidential races?

Because he's covering an erection!

Why are manhole covers circular?

Because Rouleaux triangles are too hard to manufacture. What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.

Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

Burger King didn't cover his whopper.

What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs?

The Girl Scout that got hit by a car.

What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.

Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?

A cub reporter.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do you call the nicest guy in the hospital?

The Ultra-sound guy..... Who covers him when he's not available The hip replacement guy!

What do you call a row of trucks covered in mozzarella?

A cheesy pickup line

Who is the coolest guy at the hospital?

The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick The hip replacement guy.

How much for the mirror?

Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue

Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball?

Because it's covered with horsehide!

What you call a crocodile covered with tortillas?

A tacodile

Why did the funeral director cover his mouth?

He kept coffin

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

The Burger King forgot to cover his whopper

What's black, covered in teeth marks and no longer in use?

Philip Seymour Hoffman's belt.

What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?

KGBGs

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

A girl scout that got hit by a car.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

What was the most reliable and helpful vehicle in the 1800s?

The "I've got this Covered" Waggon

What's black yellow and covered in blackberries?

A bramble bee!

What do you call an epileptic covered in lettuce?

A seizure salad.

What covers the outside of a dogwood tree?

Bark.

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

What is long, brown and covered in flies?

The welfare line.

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

Where do books sleep?

Under their covers.

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

Where does a librarian sleep?

Between the covers. I will now show myself to the door.

What did the naturalist say when he saw a number of rocks covered in moss?

I'm lichen what I see

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

What does a musician train do when running from the law?

Covers tracks

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Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

What did the French fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

How does a police officer go to the bathroom?

Ctrl+C

Samsung Jokes More Samsung Jokes

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung?

The guardians of the galaxy!

Stink Jokes More Stink Jokes

Which Game of Thrones character doesn't stink?

Bran He is Hodorless

What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do tigers wear in bed?

Stripey pyjamas!

Why don't u share a bed?

Cried Baby Bear.

Failure Jokes More Failure Jokes

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

Landslide Jokes More Landslide Jokes

What do you call it when someone gets covered by a landslide?

A bu-rock-ke

What did the cliff say to the landslide?

Chalk to you later.

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

Why was the ghost late to the Halloween party?

He had to take a sheet.

What do you get when you goose a ghost?

A handful of sheet.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read?

One with a cemetery plot.

What's the book of socially prominent monsters?

The Book of who's Boo.