What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more?

Philip Hoffman's belt.

This joke may have profanity.

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Why did the stripper need more insurance?

She had little to no coverage.

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

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What was it worth?

Two marks.

How do Religious Education teachers mark exams?

With spirit levels.