Erection Jokes

What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

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What do Japanese people do when they have erections?

Vote!

What's addicting?

The sound an erection makes when it hits a cymbal.

What do you call a narcissistic plant with an erection?

A self-raising flower. I'm so sorry.

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Why does the Asian News Anchor not stand up from behind his desk during presidential races?

Because he's covering an erection!

What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection?

I can maintain polite conversation.

What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?

Get off at the next stop!

What do you call a turtle with an erection?

A slow poke!

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

What's the difference between an erection and a Camaro?

I don't have a Camaro....

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What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?

An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.

Why do men get erections while they sleep?

So they don't accidentally roll out of bed.

What's the difference between an erection and a Ferrari?

Whisper I don't have a Ferrari.

What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection?

He came and went at the same time.

What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!

Whats the difference between a Porsche and an erection?

I dont have a Porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

How do the Chinese vote?

With their erections.

Why do men struggle to urinate with an erection?

It's just too hard.

What do you get when OP gets erections?

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What kind of erection does a burn victim get?

Firewood.

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?

My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.

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What did the Japanese stoner say?

Toke yo

What's a Japanese person's hangover cure?

Soba Noodles

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Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US Leader

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What do you call Asian quadruplets?

4chan

What do Asian people use as blindfolds?

Shoe laces.

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Why did the man call his horse Fleabag?

Because he was often scratched!

Why are men faster than women?

Ball bearings and stick shift.

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What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

What do you call a server at a funeral?

A wake-tress

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Why did the pigeon get thrown in jail?

For staging a coo

What is a wock?

Something you throw a wabbits.

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Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom?

He was sick of all its shiitake.

Why couldn't the Japanese guy see his car?

Because he had a cataract!

Mourn Wood Jokes More Mourn Wood Jokes

What do you call a sad tree?

Mourning wood

What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire?

Mourning wood