Erection Jokes

What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

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What do Japanese people do when they have erections?

Vote!

What's addicting?

The sound an erection makes when it hits a cymbal.

What do you call a narcissistic plant with an erection?

A self-raising flower. I'm so sorry.

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Why does the Asian News Anchor not stand up from behind his desk during presidential races?

Because he's covering an erection!

What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection?

I can maintain polite conversation.

What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?

Get off at the next stop!

What do you call a turtle with an erection?

A slow poke!

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

What's the difference between an erection and a Camaro?

I don't have a Camaro....

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What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?

An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.

Why do men get erections while they sleep?

So they don't accidentally roll out of bed.

What's the difference between an erection and a Ferrari?

Whisper I don't have a Ferrari.

What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection?

He came and went at the same time.

What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!

Whats the difference between a Porsche and an erection?

I dont have a Porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

How do the Chinese vote?

With their erections.

Why do men struggle to urinate with an erection?

It's just too hard.

What do you get when OP gets erections?

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What kind of erection does a burn victim get?

Firewood.

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?

My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.

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Ring Bearer Jokes More Ring Bearer Jokes

When Arwen and Aragorn got married... was Frodo designated to be the Ring bearer?

Edit Thanks KikifounUnui... not my main language TT

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the horse say when he fell down?

I've fallen and I can't giddyup.

Why did Night fall?

Because Day tripped him.

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

Where does a one-legged woman work?

What's her name? Eileen If she's Asian what's her name? Irene /goingtohellforthis

What's an Asian's favorite drug?

HERROine

Usd Jokes More Usd Jokes

Why USD erected so fast?

Why falling US$ erected so fast after GFC

Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD?

It makes no sense!" "Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

What do phone books and women have in common?

They both couldn't vote before 1920

Why are millionaires bad at swimming?

Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :(I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it

Delay Jokes More Delay Jokes

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

Hard Feeling Jokes More Hard Feeling Jokes

What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?

No hard feelings.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

Japanese Guy Jokes More Japanese Guy Jokes

Why couldn't the Japanese guy see his car?

Because he had a cataract!

What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion?

Ryan