Poll Jokes

What do Japanese people do during an erection?

They go to the polls and vote.

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What do you call a pig that votes?

Polled pork.

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Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

What is the best way to determine if someone is ticklish?

Give them a "test tickle."

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

Whats the most stupid thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?

Vote for Bernie in a primary.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

How do you know Putin's doing well this election?

He's taking over the Poles.

Who wins the election?

America.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician?

With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...

What did the RAM stick say to the politician?

I'm PC2!

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

What led to the discovery of gravitational waves?

A simple game of hopscotch: Me v. Yo Mama

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

Favourite Jokes More Favourite Jokes

What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment?

A phantomime!

What is a Brit's favorite letter?

You'd think it would be "T", but it is "U". *Favourite, btw.

Racehorse Jokes More Racehorse Jokes

How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?

They take a gallop poll!

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a dentist and a New York baseball fan?

One yanks for the roots, the other roots for the Yanks.

What's the difference between a fox and a pig?

About six drinks