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Determine Jokes

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

March Madness Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

What is the best way to determine if someone is ticklish?

Give them a "test tickle."

How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring?

They conducted an in-turtle investigation.

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?

They take a gallop poll!

How does a boat captain determine his profit?

By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you have a ticket for that?

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

What does a chicken call its backpack?

A BokBok...

Why did the black guy cross the road?

He heard there was chicken on the other side!

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

Gallop Jokes More Gallop Jokes

What is it called when you ride around on a horse asking people questions?

A gallop poll.

How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?

They take a gallop poll!

Test Tickle Jokes More Test Tickle Jokes

How do you tell if a girl is ticklish?

You give her a test-tickle.

How do you see if the Ken doll is ticklish?

Give him test tickles.

Brainer Jokes More Brainer Jokes

What do you call a vegan zombie?

A no-brainer.

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?

Frost bite!

What's do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino?

Ell if I know.

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?