How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring?

They conducted an in-turtle investigation.

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Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why did the police arrest the pedo sheep?

Because he was on the lam.

What does a Chicago cop say after emptying his clip into a fleeing suspect?

Stop. Police.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why did the chemist break his teeth?

He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon

When asked which is more important looks or brains?

9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

What do you call a malady effecting reproduction in turtles?

A reptile dysfunction

Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?

They take a gallop poll!

How does a boat captain determine his profit?

By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra?

Tuskanini.

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?