Hot Dog Jokes

What kind of dog doesnt bark?

A hot dog

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What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred?

A hot dog

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple?

Finding a vein in a hot dog.

What does the hot dog say when it crosses the finish line?

I'm the wiener!

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

What did the hot dog say on the toilet?

Mustuuurd

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

What do uou call a hot dog in college?

A FRATwurst!

What did the hot dogs name their child?

Frank

What do cows like to put on their hot dogs?

Moostard

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

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What do you call a canine that lives at the beach?

A hot dog.

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

Why'd the dog sit in the shade?

He didn't want to be a hot dog!

What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?

Hot dog!'

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

How do you make a hot dog stand?

Take away its chair.

What did one dog say to the other dog?

I like "Hot Dogs".

What does Mario use to get his hot dogs off the grill?

He uses his Donkey Tongs.

Where do you put a hot dog?

On a pun.

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What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?

I'm a wiener!

What's the opposite of a hot dog "Um...a cold cat?

Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy

Which dog is always without a tail?

A hot dog.

Why did the dog go into the water?

Because he didn't want to be a hot dog.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

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Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure?

A hearti*choke*....

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants

Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?

Cats can't drive!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

How do you want me to label this stone armchair?

He said, "No man, clay chair."

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

Half a cheetah.

Why did the bishop love Walmart?

Coz the boys pants are all half off.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Whos the funniest Disney princess?

RaPUNzel *sits there laughing to self*...so lonely..

Why did the burger sit beside the telephone?

Incase onion rings

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call the history of a car?

An autobiography.

What do you get when you mix a car and a refrigerator?

A car-brrrrr-etor

Mustard Jokes More Mustard Jokes

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

What do you call a singing bottle of mustard?

Celine Dijon

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the German physicist use to drink his beer?

Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid.

What do you tell a slow tomato?

What Ketchup