Hot Dog Jokes

What kind of dog doesnt bark?

A hot dog

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What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred?

A hot dog

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple?

Finding a vein in a hot dog.

What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog?

I have no idea...

What do you get when you leave a dog inside a car when it's 100 degrees outside?

A hot dog.

What does the hot dog say when it crosses the finish line?

I'm the wiener!

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

What did the hot dog say on the toilet?

Mustuuurd

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

What do uou call a hot dog in college?

A FRATwurst!

What do you call a woman who rents out hot dogs?

Lisa Frank

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What did the hot dogs name their child?

Frank

What do cows like to put on their hot dogs?

Moostard

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

What do you call a canine that lives at the beach?

A hot dog.

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

Why'd the dog sit in the shade?

He didn't want to be a hot dog!

What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?

Hot dog!'

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

How do you make a hot dog stand?

Take away its chair.

What did one dog say to the other dog?

I like "Hot Dogs".

What does Mario use to get his hot dogs off the grill?

He uses his Donkey Tongs.

Where do you put a hot dog?

On a pun.

What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?

I'm a wiener!

What's the opposite of a hot dog "Um...a cold cat?

Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy

Which dog is always without a tail?

A hot dog.

Why did the dog go into the water?

Because he didn't want to be a hot dog.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

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What do you call a ginger(red head) hick?

A ginger-inbred!

What's a redneck's favorite type of bread?

Inbred

Tail Jokes More Tail Jokes

What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail?

This is the end of me!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?

A mechanic.

What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand?

Birdsthigh fish fingers!

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be.....

Lumber Jokes More Lumber Jokes

What do you call a big, dumb, slow guy who cuts down trees?

A lumbering oaf.

How do lumber theives offload their stolen goods?

They fence it.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

Where do hipsters get their water?

From a well, actually.

Mustard Jokes More Mustard Jokes

What does Colonel Mustard's Mexican maid call him?

Phonetically-ish)* Mis'ser Dijon.

Why is ketchup married to mustard?

Cause ketchup accidentally broke the condiment.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What is the most unethical thing you can legally buy?

Nestle products

Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?

Because he had a stinking cold!